"Ride Hard • Have Fun • Don't Act Like a Jerk"

and

present

THE RIDE TO MONTAUK

Saturday May 20, 2017


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First, pick a ride category.

VITAL! The KIDS categories are ONLY for kids. (Duh!)


Participant Information

The address you enter next is where we are going to mail your registration materials about two weeks before ride day. It does NOT have to be the same as your billing address, which we will ask for later. 

Please be SURE to include your apartment number or the floor your office is located on as necessary -- we can not deliver your registration materials if the address info is incomplete.

We get a LOT of registrations with addresses like this:

Bob Smith

350 Fifth Ave

New York, NY 10118

(No floor or business name)

That address is for the Empire State Building, and unless your mail carrier knows you REALLY well, your registration materials are not going to find you!

- -

We ask for your phone number only to reach you in case of a real problem.


What is the brand and color of the bike you'll use on ride day?  (Red Trek, yellow and black Colnago...)  If you don't know you can just skip this.  We ask so that if you get separated from your bike we can get you together again faster!


TELL US ABOUT YOUR RIDE!

How far do you want to pedal and where do you want to begin your day?  

Vital Notes About the 30-Mile Route

(If you're NOT doing the 30 you should stop reading this immediately and skip to the section below where you pick the ride distance you prefer.)

1. The 30-mile route costs about a hundred dollars less than the other routes. This is quite silly, since it costs us about the same no matter what route you ride, but we're hoping to encourage more families with kids and more novice rides. Welcome!

2. The place where the 30-mile riders start to pedal is in East Hampton, well, just about 30 miles away from the Montauk finish line.  You are on the same route as everyone else; you just start pedaling closer to Montauk.  

The way 99% of the cyclists get to the place where the 30s start to pedal is that they go to our Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, or Mastic-Shirley start line on ride day and we transport their bike and them to East Hampton for free.

We occasionally hear from a very few people who live in the Hamptons or are staying in Montauk.  On ride day they don't want to go all the way to Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, or Mastic-Shirley, just so they can turn around and be transported right back to East Hampton to ride!  They want to drive themselves to that East Hampton location to pedal the 30.

Sounds OK to us!  

BUT...

• We offer NO transportation from the Montauk finish line back to East Hampton after the ride is over.  If you leave your car parked at the 30-mile start in East Hampton you MUST have a way to get back there on your own -- we can't transport you there, and we are not aware of any public transit that goes there.

• Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, and Mastic-Shirley are full-service start lines with all the trimmings -- breakfast, mechanics....  At the 30-mile start we'll have NUTHIN'! (Because most riders enjoyed all the goodies at Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, or Mastic-Shirley).  One of our crew will be there in East Hampton to hand you your rider I.D. wristband if you don't already have it, and there will be portable toilets, but that's it. Be sure you get fed and fill your water bottles BEFORE you arrive in East Hampton.

As long as you understand this, you are welcome to skip Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, or Mastic-Shirley and head straight to the 30-mile start.  We'll provide details on WHERE that is later, but it is in East Hampton and there is free parking.

• • •

How Far Do You Think You

Want to Pedal on Ride Day?

You can change your mind, even on ride day itself, but letting us know now what you THINK you want to do helps us plan.

Don't see the distance/start line combination you're looking for, below?

That's because it doesn't exist! (For example, there is no 150-mile/Babylon start...)


Day-Before Check-In

We offer OPTIONAL day-before check in for your bike and you in Manhattan and Babylon from 3 p.m. - 7 p.m. on Friday May 19th, the day BEFORE the ride.  

Why day before check-in?

1. We transport most bikes the morning of the ride from the place where you check in to the place where you actually start to pedal.  (If that makes no sense at all just PRETEND that I know what I'm talking about here.)

Load the day BEFORE and your bike will be unloaded and ready to ride when you arrive.

Load the day OF the ride and we'll unload your bike as fast as possible, but you WILL have to wait.

2. The lines are much shorter the day-before.

3. Sleep in later on ride day -- you're already checked in and your bike is loaded!

4. Having your registration materials mailed to you in advance?  (See below.) Day-before is STILL a great deal for you.  When you get to day-before check-in, skip the registration line and head straight to the bike loading area.  You save a lot of time AND your bike will be ready and waiting for you on ride day.

So, whaddaya think?


THIS IS A ONE-WAY RIDE --

HOW ARE YOU GETTING HOME?

Please read this carefully!

The Ride to Montauk is a bit different than most rides -- no matter which distance you do, the ride is going to end in Montauk, NY and you will need a way to get your bike and you home again.
 
In just a moment we're going to offer you a bunch of transportation choices.  
 
Here's a quick explanation. (If you want the full version in excruciating detail it can be found here.) Cheaper prices offered for kids who are 12 and under on ride day.
 
• • •
 
CHOICE #1 -- I'm getting my bike and me home on my own - NO BIKES ON
THE TRAIN!
 
FREE 
 
Just the way it sounds -- you are getting your bike and yourself home without our help.
 
Remember that you can NOT take your bike on the train on Saturday (ride day) OR on Sunday (the day after the ride). That rule from the LIRR, not us.
 
If you are getting home on your own please be aware that there is NO parking at the finish line. (We don't object to the idea per se, there just isn't any room!) There is nearby parking and we'll have a free shuttle to take your bike and you back and forth.
 
 
CHOICE #2 -- Transport home for my bike and me SAT/Bike Pick-Up SUN
 
$65.00
 
Drop your bike off at the finish line in Montauk on ride day.
 
Transport provided for you on ride day to Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, or Mastic-Shirley -- your choice. You tell us which destination you prefer when you arrive in Montauk.
 
On Sunday you pick your bike up at Manhattan, Babylon, Brooklyn, or Mastic-Shirley any time between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. Your bike will already be unloaded and guarded by our staff.
 
We STRONGLY recommend that you go with SUNDAY pick up if at all possible. It's priced lower than Saturday pick up to encourage you to select this wise choice.
 
OR... same deal, except we take only your bike -- you get your butt home on your own: $55.00.
 
 
CHOICE #3 -- Transport home for my bike and me SAT/Bike Pick-Up SAT
 
$85.00
 
We understand that Sunday pick up does not fit everyone's schedule, so we are happy to provide bike pick up immediately after the ride on SATURDAY as well.
 
If you choose Saturday bike pick up:
 
1. It's more expensive than Sunday bike pick up.
 
2. There is no Saturday bike pick up in Brooklyn. If you live in Brooklyn and really want your bike on Saturday we recommend that you select bike transport to Manhattan instead, and then pedal home from there or take the subway.
 
3. You will definitely be standing around in Manhattan, Babylon, or Mastic-Shirley, in the dark, waiting for your bike to show up. It is quite common to wait there for FOUR HOURS or longer to get your bike. (BUT... check out our new Saturday RUSH option, below if you need your bike ASAP).
 
OR... same deal, except we take only your bike -- you get your butt home on your own: $75.00.
 
 
Bikes at the Montauk finish line waiting to be carefully loaded into trucks for the trip home.
 
 
CHOICE #4 -- Saturday RUSH Service - Transport for your bike and you SAT. No waiting.
 
$120

Most people just fall out and relax after the big ride, but we do hear from folks who have to catch a plane or who have left a pie cooking in the oven at home and they need to get back with their bike NOW.

Help is here.

No matter how speedy a cyclist you are, it is very possible that when you arrive in Montauk there will be 400 bicycles ahead of yours in line to get loaded for the trip home.

We always load the bikes destined for Saturday pick up before we load the Sunday bikes, but it could still be several hours before we load your bike.

So we are proud to offer this Saturday RUSH service. Here's how it works.

When you get to Montauk do NOT leave your bike in the fenced-in holding area -- instead, walk straight to the front of the line at the Transportation Help Desk.

We will immediately put your bike on the very next vehicle out. That's usually a bike truck, but (with your permission) we can also load your bike on the next van or charter bus headed back to Manhattan, Babylon, or Mastic-Shirley.

The same goes for you -- do NOT wait in the line for transportation home -- head straight to the front of the line and we will put you on the very next bus, train, or van headed home (your choice).

Remember -- there is still no bike transport to Brooklyn on Saturday. If you really truly need your bike Saturday evening have it sent to Manhattan and pick it up there.

OR... same deal, except we take only your bike -- you get your butt home on your own: $110.00.

 
 
CHOICE #5 -- I want transport back and I want my bike delivered to my home on Sunday before 8 a.m.
 
$200.
 
When you arrive in Montauk do not leave your bike in the fenced-in holding area -- bring it straight to the front of the line at the Transportation Help Desk and we'll take it from there. 
 
After you've had some food and a shower, no waiting in line for transportation home for you -- go straight to the front of the transportation line and we'll put you on the very next van, bus, or train -- your choice.
 
When you get back just head home and relax. Don't wait for your bike.
 
We will deliver your bike to your home between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m.
 
The delivery address MUST be in one of these zip codes to use this service.
 
It is quite likely that we will be dropping off your bike at 2 a.m., so this is really best if you live in a doorman building so we can deliver your bike without waking you up.
 
If you DON'T live in a doorman building and ALSO don't mind us ringing your doorbell at 2 a.m. it's OK with us!  (Prefer home delivery at a saner hour?  See the next choice, below.)
 
We will make one attempt to deliver your bike. If no one is there to sign for it, we will bring it back to the Manhattan bike depot at W. 33rd Street between 11th Ave and 12th Ave. You will need to pick it up in person between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.
 
OR... same deal, except we take only your bike -- you get your butt home on your own: $190.00.
 
 
CHOICE #6 -- I want transport home and I want my bike delivered to my home on Sunday between 8 a.m. - noon.
 
$200.
 
When you arrive in Montauk do not leave your bike in the fenced-in holding area -- bring it straight to the front of the line at the Transportation Help Desk and we'll take it from there.

After you've had some food and a shower, no waiting in line for transportation home for you -- go straight to the front of the transportation line and we'll put you on the very next van, bus, or train -- your choice.

When you get back just head home and relax. Don't wait for your bike.

We will deliver your bike to your home between 8 a.m. and noon on Sunday.

The delivery address MUST be in one of these zip codes to use this service.

We will make one attempt to deliver your bike. If no one is there to sign for it, we will bring it back to the Manhattan bike depot at W. 33rd Street between 11th Ave and 12th Ave. You will need to pick it up in person between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m.

OR... same deal, except we take only your bike -- you get your butt home on your own: $190.00.
 
AND...
 
 
KIDS 12 & UNDER
 
We offer all of the transport options above for kids who are 12 or under on ride day. Same service -- lower price.  
 
 


 

Don't have a coupon?  They are only given out to people like volunteers who are not paying for the ride.  Not to worry -- there's not some giant discount that everyone else is getting that you're missing...


CUSTOM SPECIALIZED PURIST WATER BOTTLE

This is Specialized's top of the line bottle, The Purist, designed to stay odor and stain free.

We Ride for Pie Bottle (design printed on one side)

 

• • •

 

 

Ride Hard • Have Fun • Don't Act Like a Jerk

on one side

Blue Point Brewery logo 

on the other side

Enter the number of water bottles you want in the boxes below.

  [$10.00]

  [$10.00]



2017

Montauk - The End

Racing Jerseys 

&

T-shirts

 

 

FRONT

 

BACK

Montauk - The End -- our cool 2017 design is available on T-shirts and racing jerseys. (The jersey has more art detail, but you knew that...) 

 

For a limited time the 2017 jersey is also available in a sleeveless or long-sleeve version. (The long sleeve will have black sleeves, and is made of a slightly heavier bicycle jersey material -- perfect for cooler weather.)

 

To purchase a 2017 jersey or T-shirt just enter the quantity you want in the box next to each size.

 

Example:

 

2 Women's Medium Short Sleeve

 

1 Men's Large Sleeveless

 

Don't want stuff? Please resist the urge to fill in every box with a zero -- it makes our work incredibly difficult. Thanks!

 

JERSEYS

You can see a RACING JERSEY sizing chart here.

 

WOMENS

  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


MENS

  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$85.00]


T-Shirts

You can see a T-SHIRT sizing chart here.

 

Why do we charge for T-shirts? Because we are T-shirt snobs. Our shirts are 100% cotton Haines Beefy Ts -- their top of the line model. Full color... not like that cheese-y polyester thing you got at some ride with 20 corporate logos on the back -- suitable only for cleaning the grease off your bike chain (he said, with his nose in the air...)

  [$12.00]

  [$12.00]

  [$12.00]

  [$12.00]

  [$12.00]

  [$12.00]


Playing Card Montauk Jersey

 

FRONT

 

BACK

To purchase a Playing Card jersey  just enter the quantity you want in the box next to each size. Don't see your size? That means that it's sold out.

  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [sold out]


  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]

  [$70.00]


Planet Earth Montauk Racing Jersey

FRONT

- - - - - -

 

BACK

 


50th Anniversary Jersey

 

Underneath that 50th Anniversary crest it reads "We Ride for Pie" in Latin. On the back it's "The Ride to Montauk" in Latin.  

 

Order your 50th anniversary racing jersey here


Subway to Montauk Jersey


Hoptical Illusion/We Ride for Pie




Optional Rain Insurance

Photo by Alan Roche

 
We ride rain or shine.  So usually we hesitate to even mention the word “rain”.  But we just did, so we offer optional rain insurance.

 

Here’s how it works:

IF YOU WISH you pay an additional $21.  On ride day if it rains 1” or more any time between 5 a.m. - 8 p.m. the insurance company pays you $150. (Want a "bigger umbrella"? Pay $42 for rain insurance and get $300 if it rains. Your choice.)

You do NOT need to show up on ride day to collect. So if you wake up and it’s pouring, you can stay home and go back to sleep. We’ll mail your check to you. 

If you bought souvenir clothing such as racing jerseys or T-shirts you still get that stuff AND $150. HOWEVER... if your racing jersey or T-shirt is being held at the finish line for you you’ll either have to pick it up there, have a friend grab it for you, or pay a modest fee to have it shipped to you after the ride.
 

The Fine Print

This is real insurance, which we buy from a real insurance company. These are reliable folks, but we pay you when they pay us. If the insurance kicks in they will send one check directly to us. That means that we’ll send out YOUR check as soon as we get OUR check and give it a couple days to clear the bank. (We trust them; we just can’t afford to lay out all that dough!)


Please remember that we are NOT guaranteeing that it won’t drizzle; we’re protecting you against a downpour.


The rain is measured in Manhattan, Babylon, and Montauk at professional weather stations not affiliated with the insurance company or with us.

SO...

If we saw this rainfall on ride day:

Manhattan: 0"

Babylon: 1"

Montauk: 0"

Then the insurance would pay off, no matter which route or morning check-in location you chose, because it rained 1" or more.

BUT...

If we saw THIS rainfall on ride day:

Manhattan: 0.5"

Babylon: 0.75"

Montauk: 0.25"

The insurance would NOT pay off, since it didn't rain 1" or more in any one location.

Clear as mud? You bet!

Glen
 


WELCOME TO THE EXPRESS LANE 2017!

 

Register for the ride before April 20, 2017 at 11:59 p.m. and we will mail your rider I.D. wristbands to you for FREE.  On Montauk day skip the check-in line and ride!

If you are doing our optional day-before check-in you STILL skip the registration desk line -- just head straight for the bike loading area.

Want your wristbands AND your souvenir clothing or water bottle mailed to you before the ride? We offer that deluxe service for $18 extra. Order below.

VITAL PRE-MAIL TRIVIA

1.  This whole pre-mail things makes us twitch, because it means we must count on the U.S. Postal Service (and our crew) to never ever make a mistake. (Same goes for your doorman, spouse, kids, roommate, landlord, dog, or anyone else who touches your mail at home). We'll be mailing out more than a thousand envelopes, and you can be sure that one or two are never going to make it.

Ugh.

SO... if you pay EXTRA to have your souvenir clothing or water bottle mailed to you before the ride and it doesn't show up, we will do everything we can to make good -- rush a replacement to you if possible; refund the pre-mail fee if we can't.

BUT... if the wristbands-only envelope we mailed you for FREE fails to show in time, you will have our very sincere apologies, and we will be happy to re-mail if there's still time, but we can't afford to Fed-Ex your wristbands to you. You'll have to go through the very short check-in line.

2.  Someone always pays extra to have their clothing mailed to them before the ride... and then doesn't actually order any clothing. (This is sort of like paying Amazon for express shipping without buying any actual products). Please note that T-shirts and racing jerseys cost EXTRA (see above).

3. You can not pick up clothing at day-before check-in.

4.  If you are picking up clothing on the day of the ride, it is available ONLY at the finish line -- not at morning check in.

Clear as mud? You bet! 


Welcome to the Department of Vital

(and Annoying)

Info!

 

There's some important info that will make your day MUCH better and we want to be SURE you've read it.  So hang in there and answer the next couple questions so we know we're good here.


Green Lights/Blue Lights

 

 

In Southampton the local emergency professionals (EMS, Fire, Police) sometimes use the traditional red flashing lights, BUT... they may also have blue or green flashing lights too.  

Some people may see those blue or green lights and think, "Hey, those lights behind me aren't RED and there's no siren -- must not be serious."

This is no joke -- if you see a vehicle behind you that has red, blue, or green flashing lights, get the heck out of the way IMMEDIATELY.  Siren or not, lives are at stake here.  


Give Respect/Get Respect

We want the towns we ride through to welcome us back next year, and we want to keep each other safe on the road. That means no riding two-abreast when streets are narrow, passing too close, or otherwise acting like a jerk.

YOU MUST FOLLOW ALL NY MOTOR VEHICLE LAWS.

If any of our many marshals spot you yelling at drivers, pounding on car hoods, or otherwise acting disrespectfuly to the locals (whether you think it's justified or not) we will not hesitate for a moment to grab you by the ear (or any other appendage we can reach) and pull you out of the ride IMMEDIATELY.  No post-ride transport, no post-ride meal, no S.A.G. service, NO REFUNDS.


There Is No Water at the Mastic-Shirley Train Station OR at the East Hampton Start Point

Lord knows we've tried -- I once spent about two hours walking the same small area, around and around, looking for a water spigot we could use.  (And I can usually smell a working spigot at 100 yards!)

IF you are doing the 73-mile route that starts at Mastic-Shirley you need to be SURE to fill your water bottles BEFORE you get there.  The same is true for the 30-mile route that starts in East Hampton.  


Hey, if you are getting a friend to pick you up at the end of the ride that's cool, but there is absolutely positively

 

NO PARKING

 

NO STANDING

 

NO STOPPING (No, not even for "just a second")

 

At the finish line OR on the road leading up to the finish line.

 

There's just no room, and the East Hampton police WILL be ticketing like crazy.

 

Your friend can park at the Montauk lighthouse, and we will have a free shuttle service to take people and bikes back and forth. Parking at the lighthouse costs about $8. (We don't get any of that money -- it goes to the park people).

 

OK?

 


Credit Card Statement

When you get your credit card statement, the charge for this event will be listed as:

BICYCLE SHOWS U.S.

You must promise that you will not freak out when you see those words, call up Glen in a panic, screaming about credit card fraud, before saying, "Oh yeah... bicycle ride... now I remember."



 

This money goes to the on-line registration company and the credit card processors. We don't get to keep any of it.

$0.00

Billing Information


Terms & Conditions

2017 RIDE TO MONTAUK WAIVER

I, the undersigned, have read the refund policy for the ride, which can be found on the All the Bad Things on One Page section of our web site, and agree to the refund policy's terms.

Waiver and Release of Claims: In consideration for your allowing me to participate in the Ride to Montauk, I, the undersigned, for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators and assigns, waive and release any and all claims for damages, for death, personal injury or loss of property which I may have or which may accrue to me as a result of my participation. I, the undersigned, discharge and release BICYCLE SHOWS U.S., Glen Goldstein, and their respective agents, vendors, rest stop locations, mechanics, boards and commissions from all liability arising out of or connected in any way with my participation in this excursion, whether or not caused by the negligence of any of the above parties. I acknowledge that this event may involve risks, including the risk of falling, collision with other bicyclists, motor vehicles, or stationary objects, and the conditions of the road. My participation is voluntary and done at my risk. I voluntarily assume all risks of loss, damage or injury that may be sustained while participating in this event. I recognize that an event of this nature can be physically demanding. I understand and agree that medical or other services rendered to me by or at the insistence of any of the above parties are not an admission of liability to provide or continue to provide such services, and are not a waiver by any of the said parties of any right hereunder. I understand that serious accidents may occur during bicycling excursions and that participants in this excursion may sustain mortal or serious injury as a consequence of their participation. I understand that my bicycle or other equipment may be stolen, damaged or destroyed during the ride, including during transportation in our rented trucks, buses, or other vehicles. Nevertheless, I agree to assume these risks and to release and hold harmless all of the persons mentioned above who might otherwise be liable to me for damages. I attest that I have checked the equipment I will use in this event and it is in good mechanical condition. I understand that bicycle helmets can prevent injuries and I agree to always wear a SNELL or ANSI approved bicycle helmet properly on my head whenever bicycling during this event. We reserve the right to cancel the ride if we feel that riding conditions are dangerous to you or others. The ride may also be canceled by an outside agency not controlled by us. No refunds or credits will be issued if the ride is canceled. I have read and understand everything written above and I voluntarily accept this agreement.

I the undersigned, further agree to indemnify and hold harmless the Town of Southampton, NY and the Town of East Hampton, NY, their employees, agents and servants from and against any and all demands, claims, liabilities, losses, damages, expenses (including attorney’s fees and judgments for any personal injuries, death, property loss or damage in any way relating to or arising from my participation in this event.


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